Not that being liberal is a bad thing, but each label, liberal or conservative, carries a bad connotation depending on the person you are talking to.

I try not to hate, do not discriminate, will try most things once (twice if I liked it), I see others opinions and take them into account, and I will give any one the benefit of the doubt (sadly for far too many times, and hurts).

I believe in the military and why we need military power. I believe that welfare is a good thing as long as it is not abused, i.e. give a person a fish they will eat for a day, teach them to fish and they will not only eat for a life time but will also teach the next generation how to do the same.

Is it possible to be a conservative liberal, or a liberal conservative? Or can I just say to hell with the labels and I am me? Love with me as you see fit!

Peace,

Fenix 2

This is not literature, this is not art, these are my feelings and thoughts... feel with me, love with me, hope with me...Peace.

When the fear grips me, the anxiety and panic washes over me like a wave... no a tsunami, I frantically search. Where, where, where... there must be at least one, just one...

And finally contact!

The eyes of a child; the clear, innocent, brilliant eyes of a child allowing me to calm, to regain what is left of my control to step out of the then and back into the "here and now".

All it takes is a glance, a smile, and I know there is still hope in the world, still happiness, still unconditional love passed from one person to another. There is no animosity, no hate or fierce anger only trust, delight. The ability to see the world with full wonder and amazement whether it is peering upon a clothing rack full of colors that have yet to be discovered, a sound or a smell that is new, a persons face not yet looked upon... this is bliss, this is grace and often times my saving grace, the purity that pulls me back to where and when I am, not the hell that once was.

I know God exists, for without an entity of love and hope these children would not be here. And many times without them I'm not sure I still would be. I thank the maker for children and their magically joyous eyes.

Fenix 2

This is not literature, this is not art, these are my feelings and thoughts... feel with me, love with me, hope with me...Peace.

I wake each morning with renewed hope, maybe this is going to be a good day. Maybe the sun is shinning, or snow is falling, maybe everyone smiles and no one is threatening. Maybe I will get through the day without the headaches, the fear, the anger...

Then the day begins...

I was a Soldier a Medic, I have seen the ravages of war, been shot at, blown up, and heard the calls of wounded men and women; I still hear the sounds or smell the odors today and on the 21^st of this month it will be a year since I left those horrors behind me.

By the grace of God I came through with my body intact, my mind on the other hand is not. There is rarely a day when a sound, a taste, or a smell does not set off a memory, a "script" as the therapists call it. Have you ever noticed if you break it in two it is not a positive word? The Rapist...

What might it be today, a certain note in a song that turns on that horrible incoming alarm in my head forcing me to be hyper vigilant and looking for a place to take cover? Will it be a random smell that takes me back to burning flesh, or raw blood sending me into an anxiety attack? Or will it simply be a noisy crowd taking away my confidence forcing me to abandon that which I am doing to find safety elsewhere?   

I wish I could say that the headaches are the worst pain, or the panic attacks, or the chest pain from stress, but it isn't. The pain I feel in my heart, in my soul is the worst. Not a day goes by when I don't hurt, when my heart doesn't feel heavy. I have family and friends around me that love and care for me, but it only slightly takes away the pain.

I pray every morning that today will be that day when my heart feels light again, when love, happiness, hope and peace spring forth in me and stays that way all day.

Maybe today?

Fenix 2

This is not literature, this is not art, these are my feelings and thoughts... feel with me, love with me, hope with me...Peace.